What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
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