Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
You smell like a Billy Joel song
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
