Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
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