But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
