Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
