And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
