oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
