So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
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Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
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Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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