Is it normal to miss your booty call?
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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