next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
