Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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