oh god the rape fog is back!
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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