cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
