OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Can I color on your dick again?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
