the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
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he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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