so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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