I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
