Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
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