Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
