Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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