i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize