Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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