So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Randomize
