how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
You ruined the universe
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
