my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
