As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
