you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
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She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
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Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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