Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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