i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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