Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
