I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
