ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
