is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
