The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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