Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
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