I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
