he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
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