Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
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No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
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Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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