READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
