wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
We don't watch enough power rangers
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
