i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
