Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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