we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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