I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Randomize
