I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
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