Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
