I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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