You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
