Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
