The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I want to fling myself into the sun
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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