escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
