he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
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