If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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