Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
