there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize