im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
