yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
