I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
