just come out here and I will go home with you...
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Randomize