The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
if only i could text you this smell
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Randomize
