i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I just googled if crying burns calories
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
