I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
