Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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