it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
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