Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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