yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Randomize
