...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
