what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
