Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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