So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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