then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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