Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
