A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
We don't watch enough power rangers
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
My life is pants optional.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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