Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize