A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
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