Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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